Elsie Beatrice (O’Shields) Delgado

Born April 24, 1944 ~ Died February 24, 2019

Elsie B. Delgado, 74, of Farmersville/Exeter, passed away on February 24, 2019 in Porterville, California. Elsie Beatrice Delgado is the sister of Arcada Sue Smith (Lisalda)

Historical insight

Below is an excerpt/paraphrase/summary from an upcoming book that includes Elsie Beatrice Delgado

Elsie Beatrice Delgado was born in Hemet, California to John O’Shields & Mary Ellen Ensminger on April 24, 1944. She spent her adult life as a wife, mother, liar, illegal opportunist, Sexual predator, financial fraudster, drug trafficker, drug user, master manipulator, child abuser and whenever she had enough Valium’s in her, at times she was said to be a homemaker.

Elsie loved to tell a story…she was very good at it too. She really knew how to entertain. However Elsie’s stories were practically all flat out lies intended to hurt people. Elsie was genuinely a sad and miserable woman. To me its as if she was just mad at the world because of her own set of circumstances and therefore decided everyone around her and beyond must also suffer. Simply put, Elsie was a twisted fucking cunt bitch to lots of people. She cared mostly about herself and for herself alone. In later years as Elsie got older and her kids grew up she started to figure out that people actually despised her. As time grew on, more and more people would distance themselves from her. Her own family wanted nothing to do with her. Some of Elsie’s children are affected in many ways and by many things to this day that are connected to Elsie. Throughout her life, Elsie engaged in MANY illegal behaviors. Elsie was known to abuse children and manipulate them into sex acts with people she knew well into her adult years of her life. Elsie often pushed illegal drugs onto children as well as her own prescription drugs. She also sold her insulin syringes to family, friends and neighbors…
Over time, some of Elsie’s own children went many years without speaking to her for their own reasons…and that speaks volumes in itself. It should also speak volumes that when Elsie died, almost nobody was around her as she was found dead in the nursing home alone. Elsie was put away in a home because nobody even dared put that fucking fat disgusting woman into the same home as themselves.

Not long before Elsie died, a unique visit took place with some family members in her nursing home room. There is an actual audio recording that includes some of the last words of Elsie Beatrice Delgado not long before she died. In the recording, Elsie is expressing her sorrow and pain at some of the terrible things she did to others in her life, including her own family members. In the recording you can hear the genuine pain in Elsie’s voice as she cries about where she is stuck at now, nobody wanting her, she is also discussing what she has done to others. The recording is not long as time was limited. However, Elsie also speaks of some of her family/children and wishes that they will forgive her. Elsie mentions one of her daughters. Elsie, in many ways, was probably more pained and troubled because the person doing the interview was a person that never actually forgave her (up to that point) for all the things she had done. Elsie, the horrible disgusting fucking pig, was now looking into the face of the man she used to beat so badly, lie about, force into sex, force into crimes, force into drugs, force into a disgusting and deranged position of submission…. Me. There I stand, finally harvesting the rewards of decades of patience.

Looking down at Elsie, I could not help but smile at her scared wide eyes looking back up at me… She knew damn fucking well who I was and she had every reason to be scared. Guilt has a way of putting fear into a persons own eyes. Elsie and all of her once devastatingly painful and hurtful might was right before me and finally at my fingertips. At that very moment however, I also couldn’t help but become flooded and almost disoriented by this moment actually happening. I had waited forever. I was finally before her and ready for action. I never let her get away and there she is right in front of me. The moment was real, there she was, and finally the consequences of Elsie’s actions ready for service… every moment was fleeting, I knew time was of the essence. So many memories of how she would hurt that little boy and how she caused him so much pain for her own fucked up pleasure. Remembering all of the shit she had me do to others just for her own deranged fun. Elsie would make up so many lies about that boy (just like other family did/does) to the point it was easier for anyone to believe the lies rather than just be a real person and know the truth. But I was real then and I AM REAL NOW. Right in front a Elsie the cow. At that moment for her, I was the most eye opening real thing to ever happen to her.

Watching Elsie do her best to process what was happening as she looked up at me, I wonder if she was so settled in fear that she was unsure of reality anymore maybe? I wasn’t screaming at her. I wasn’t flailing my arms around in theatrics to her. Just me standing there looking at her scared the fuck out of her. And considering what she did to me, she had good reason to be scared. It was so enjoyably evident that I was the most impossible person to ever be seen in front of her again. Surely Elsie must have thought (just as before) that I must not exist to her because pretending Im fake or a liar or whatever the case, is easier than looking at everything you ever did right in the face 2 feet away from yours and being responsible for it. I already knew and experience our whole family doing that shit, pretending shit is always a lie or just doesn’t exist so that they don’t have to deal with it or be responsible or accountable for it. In our family, Its always got to be somebody else’s fault. In the family its easier to hide behind a bullshit lie than “own it and be done with it”.

Over the time I knew Elsie, I had watched Elsie lie to detectives, district attorneys, Police….EVERYONE. She didn’t just do it to me, she did it to many other people. Honestly, Elsie was one of the best liars I have ever seen and I know many other good ones in our family but Elsie was in the top three. Lying about people is somehow one of those mental illness conditions that runs in the family. Ive watched many in the family just lie about people just to cause hurt and pain. Elsie never cared if she was in court or church (if she ever went to church) she would open her fat pig face and just say some of the worst shit about people. Early on, I started to figure out that bitch was just not human. She couldn’t be. Only a pig eats anything in sight… and when elsie opened her face, that all she seemingly did. Eat anything and cause massive amounts of hurt and pain upon anybody in sight. But Elsie isn’t alone in her pen for swine. In my life, Ive even watched pathetic so called “Judges, commissioners and other self righteous fucks” fall for easily provable lies by these swine people. Its pathetic, yes, but its a sad reality. In my mind, people have to want and exercise the truth or it is meaningless to expect it from anyone.

However, at this very moment before her, there was no escaping the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. Surprise bitch, I survived and here I am right in front of you. I feel certain that Elsie sees the moment in front of her for what it could be, she is not a fool. Elsie knows and remembers what she has done to me. Elsie just looks at my face with wide eyes. My face is the same face that refused to ever go back to her home one day as a child after what she had done to me. I know damn good and well that she remembers a particular day when I had learned to hold my breathe and wait… One day, long ago, after a horrible and devastating beating over a broken glass that another family member had broken…I/me/that little boy, went to school and refused to go home to that disgusting home full of drugs, sex abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, trafficking and other HORRIBLE painful things… And, I really did never return.

However, decades later, here I stand now…looking down upon the woman who hoped I would die and never reappear again. How gorgeous the moment now…. Elsie looking up at me from a fucking hospital bed barely able to breathe from her snout. I am all grown up now, I survived against all odds, keeping my promise that despite all she had done to try and silence me, kill me, bury me and ruin me, I would find her… I would never let her get away. Elsie was always among the precious few in my filing cabinet marked “priority”.

Although I can do whatever I want in this very moment before her, I did remind myself that long ago that hating her did not really benefit me. Neither would putting my fucking hands around her neck and watching that pig try and gasp any kind of air through her plugged up snout. Hate just did no good anymore… I had already hated her for a lifetime and in some ways it was easier now to look at her and chuckle at her pathetic and lonely demise. She had nothing to show for her life. She had kids that didn’t love or want her, an ex-husband who despised her and her own fat face that betrayed her. She was alone and no longer able to hurt me or anyone anymore. In a way, it was precious to see how fearful she was of me. I was standing there really motionless and yet she was terrified of me. Well, I guess I might have been too if I was her looking at me after everything she had done. Elsie kept looking and wondering what I might do to her after everything she had done to me. Truth is, It was Elsie’s own guilt that gave her such an amount of pure terror about me. Throughout the time I knew Elsie, I never did anything to her except do whatever the fuck she told me to do. I told her the truth even though she commanded that I lie to others. Looking down at this pig, I could not help but see her identical twins face… her sister: Arcada Sue Smith. My mother. Sure, they aren’t actually identical twins, but they might as well have been because they both did the same shit to me and others. Fucking pigs.

Elsie lay there a disgusting pig all alone knowing that the boy she had pimped out to men for sex, forced into many sexual devastations, forced into horrible crimes to suit her personal agenda/needs was now standing over her looking back at her with all the opportunity in the world.

Elsie Beatrice Delgado, surprised to see me after all these wonderful hibernating years. It was evident that Elsie never understood how I survived or succeeded, let alone how I became so strong and able to persevere after everything she put me through in her fucked up house of horrors…

Initially when I visited Elsie, my older sister Mary was present along with her minor children. Eventually as the visit came to a close, I wanted a moment alone with Elsie. I decided to gather a bit more last minute accountability from a pig before she were to die and go to swine heaven. I decided not to share my intentions with my sister or the basis for my moment alone I desired with Elsie. I loved my sister very much. But I didn’t trust her entirely. I had seen Mary in action before and I knew that Mary had a special place in her heart for Elsie. How Mary could feel any kind of care for Elsie was bizarre to me considering what I knew Elsie had put Mary through. Regardless, I knew Mary is similar in nature to Elsie. Over the years, it was clear to me that Mary had shown/proven herself to be self serving. Mary has a history of exhibiting behavior that is consistent with the thinking that: “everything is/or must be a lie unless it suits her needs/agenda or narrative”.
I asked Mary for a moment alone with Elsie. Mary looked me right in the face and firmly demanded that I “don’t do anything stupid”. At that very second, I felt somewhat hurt that Mary would ask that of me that she never asked of others. Mary didn’t care about what Elsie had done to me… yet she demanded that I don’t do anything stupid to Elsie. Fucking sad and pathetic whores. They all think in a similar mindset: “don’t steal my stuff…but go steal theirs- don’t hurt me…but go hurt them”. I looked Mary in the face unsure if I was lying or not and said I wont. and Mary left the room. I however had tunnel vision.

Below are a few questions and answers I have on recording during my time alone with Elsie:

1. I asked Elsie why she did to me what she did with the men in her home:

Elsie said: “Im sorry”

2. I asked Elsie why she forced me and made me do some things to others that still deeply haunts me to this day,

Elsie said: “Im sorry”

3. I asked Elsie why she lied in 2001 and then tried to cover up what she made me do in her home as a kid along with what she had known had taken place with Steven Scott Rather in her home,

Elsie looked away from me While crying and said: “Jr. Im Sorry.”

The short visit ended soon after. Elsie was short winded, old and broken down by life and its revenge on her. Elsie knew that she and I and only a few others still living, knew that yes indeed, she was a sorry piece of shit for what she had done, not just to me, but to so many others as well. Right before I turned and left the room, I looked back at Elsie one more time and saw one of the greatest gifts I ever had the pleasure of receiving: A person just like I once was, who would do anything for some one to help them, save them, care for them, love them… and get nothing in return.

With a smile on my face as bright as the sun, I looked right at her as she lay in the bed. I winked at her with a short nod, and then turned and I walked out of the room. I was only a few steps into the hall towards the exit, when I heard Elsie coughing as if she was trying to breathe and didn’t have enough oxygen. As I listened to her wheezing and coughing, all I could do was laugh. I wondered if Elsie remembered how to hold her breath. Years ago, I learned something Elsie seemingly should have already known. After all, she is one who taught me to hold my breath in very difficult circumstances. Elsie had a plastic bag over my head when I had to learn to hold my breathe when I lived with her at 678 S. Ventura Avenue in Farmersville, CA. In the back of my mind as I heard her desperately wheezing, I felt she really is lucky at that moment in her room alone that I don’t have a plastic bag on hand… lot’s of painful memories went through my mind at that moment. And to think, Elsie, for all the ways she ran her fucking mouth, can’t even get a little air into her fucking fat snout. Such a swollen fat sinful snout and she cant even breathe through it anymore. Elsie, like so many pathetic others, did her absolute best to try and bury me in a box along with the hideous family secrets I hold about the entire family… Well surprise you cunt.

As a child, I tried to love Elsie. I really did. I went to live with her because I was tired of the sex abuse at my mothers home (Elsie’s sister Arcada). Eventually, I would discover that Elsie’s home was in many ways worse than my mothers. I was an early teenage boy leaving a horrible home and hoping for the best only to find something worse than the previous. At the time it seemed like there was no place to go but down. I had nowhere else to go. So, I gave up. Life was what it was for me it seemed. Almost immediately upon arrival, Elsie had me doing many horrible things. I did them because I was afraid of her. I wanted to feel loved. I had nowhere else to go. There was nobody else for me after Elsie. Nobody. I soon found myself doing anything for Elsie. When things didn’t go Elsie’s way, or as planned, Elsie would blame me as if the cause for anything happening anywhere was just me and me alone. Somehow regardless of all of the adults around her home in “control of their own lives”, It seemed I was one hell of a punching bag for anyone if anything went wrong in that house regardless of fault. It had to be my fault that there was any issues or turmoil in the home. All of the things Elsie had me doing for her, and to others… and nothing was good enough. I got used to the beatings quickly. They were really just as bad as my mothers house so numbness came easily. Once, Elsie had me beaten so badly by her sons to the point where I was temporarily disfigured and unable to attend school or be seen in public for weeks. The reasons for the beatings Elsie was so generous to provide me with are buried in deep family scandals that always prove to have too many different versions of events by people who were themselves so fucked up that they never even knew themselves what truth was or what they were listening to: Elsie…a pig…a fat and miserable nobody. Elsie, a woman who would start rumors just to hurt people amongst a circle of likeminded pathetic degenerates like herself. Around Elsie and her home, there was never supposed to be an exact truth to find anywhere. Elsie greatly prided herself on being able to masterfully create a story out of thin air and then cleverly provide various versions to various different people at separate times with the main objective of simply to hurt somebody. Elsie loved to see people expand and contract to her “stories” at her will. Elsie and I knew that to her and those around her, there was never supposed to ever be an exact truth. For years I wondered why I didn’t say anything about what was going on… but at that time, who was there to tell? Who would believe me when Elsie had a strong hold over what people were to believe about her home and its occupants. Elsie conditioned people to believe what she wanted you to believe about others. Looking back, It was amazing to see how many stupid people were so quick to believe a self serving cow. How pathetic. All around me was trash. I was getting almost killed by Elsie and her family who hurt me. At times, whenever I hesitated to do some things Elsie wanted me to do, Elsie would have me beaten very badly by various people in her home…and, as those people who were blinded by Elsie’s lies and clever stories would hurt me, they would never know that some of the things that they were beating me for were in fact some things that Elsie was making me do. Elsie was truly evil, I mean seriously sinister and truly evil. It’s apparent that the people around at the time either never figured out, or knew and just didn’t care, that it was Elsie that was making me and forcing me to do such horrible things and, some of the most horrible shit Elsie made me do was because Elsie herself said she hated some of her own daughters so much. As Elsie made me do some things, in my mind, I never truly understood why Elsie hated some of her daughters with so much vile intensity. To this day, I am truly forever sorry in many ways for things that Elsie made me do in that house. But the interesting thing is, nobody would ever admit or want to believe I was a victim at all of Elsie’s even though they too were victims in some ways of Elsie’s as well. To everyone around me, I had to be the liar and/or nonexistent because apparently the truth really does hurt. I had a sincere hatred for being called a liar when I knew the whole truth. There was a secret weapon I carried with me to combat evil for years before Elsie’s house and now I carried it in her house as well. It was called proof. In Elsie’s house, my secret proof was called “realistic”. Realistic was the name of a big gorgeous stereo system that Elsie had in her front living room. It had two big white 15 inch speakers. It also had a wonderful and easy to use record button. It was there in plain sight for everyone to see. Everybody would pass by that stereo… everyday. Elsie was so focused on having me do whatever the fuck she wanted, she, and everyone else around her in that house, were being who they really were to me. All of them. Now, and just like in 1983…1985…1989…1990…1991… and now in 1992 I could relive the truth forever always knowing that whatever the fuck Elsie or the shit family would lie about, I knew and had the truth.

Alas, Despite the above, in this moment in the nursing home, I reminded myself that I let go of hate years ago. I promised myself to give forgiveness to Elsie, and, being known for my honesty and commitment to what I say, I did exactly that… I had many choices readily available to me the day I saw her in the nursing home. However, I made a clear and determined choice to let “natural causes” be the way of my forgiveness to her.

After exiting the nursing home I was temporarily emotional and walked to the vehicle accompanied by Mary Rebecca Delgado. Mary hugged me a moment and said: “I know that was hard”. I told her it was. Mary asked me if I did anything stupid in there and I said no. I told Mary I got more than I expected in there and I was happy with what I got. Mary had no idea what exactly it was that I got. I once told Mary while we were driving that I had a recording of Elsie discussing things about one of her daughters and sons as well as being apologetic to things she had done in life to them, me and others. Mary quickly dismissed the possibility of any such recording taking place as a lie because: “It must be a lie because she hadn’t heard the recording… and there wasn’t that much time that was available to do a recording so it must be a lie”. It was fascinating to see Mary be so dismissive of things. Mary already knew I was known for a devastatingly accurate level of honesty about what I say. Perhaps the shear thought of Elsie taking some ownership was scary for Mary to accept. Mary growing up the way she did explains it all in itself in some ways. To me, I felt it was obvious that Mary was going to end up just like Elsie did… pretending the truth doesn’t exist until its too late. Like all the rest of the family has a deep rooted history of doing; Its just easier to call everyone and everything a lie….rather than take ownership or responsibility for anything they have done. Entertaining the truth is foreign to them. The truth hurts. A lot.

To me, Elsie was one of the most abusive women that ever existed. Just because she is dead does not negate what she did to many people in her life. I believe this should apply to everyone.

Elsie Beatrice Delgado, I say this to you now: You were a VERY horrible person to me. You hurt me deeply and terribly when all I hoped for was something better than where I had come from. The horrible and devastating things you made me do had cut me to the bone and drained my soul of all marrow. However, I do feel that despite all of the hurt and pain you caused me and did to me and so many people, you still deserve Heaven and forgiveness just like all of us do. Through my own life experiences, I learned much about forgiveness and what it means. None of us are saints, but in my heart after all that you had done, I do wish you more peace and happiness wherever you are now than you ever gave others. I am very pleased that you got to see the truth before you died: Me, the one boy you did your best to hide and ruin. Elsie, truly God bless you and God save you, but you stupid cunt bitch, I was stronger than you, I am still stronger than you, and I wont let you down… I will keep my promise I whispered to you in your ear. Like I told you, it was the same promise I whispered to your fucking sister Arcada Sue Smith…my mother just as she too laid in her hospital bed.

Elsie’s remains were cremated at the Myers Funeral Service & Crematory before I could feed them to the hogs.